A New Chapter

It's official: We're TTC (trying to conceive) and I couldn't be more excited. :) 

Even though I've been pregnant twice (one live birth and one miscarriage), this will be the first time that I've planned a pregnancy. We were originally going to wait until the end of the summer to TTC, but things just feel right now and I know in my heart, that we're ready. Aside from that gut feeling, things are coming together for us in other ways and I feel that now my journey is going to be less stressful.

A big factor for me was our financial stability. I was worried that we wouldn't be able to support another LO (little one), but things are looking up in that department. Eric (my BF) is doing really well at his new job and even got a bonus last Friday (Yay!). Plus, he has decided to continue with his original job that lays off during summer time as well as keep this new job. He's going to be working two jobs so that I am able to stay home like I wanted to. I made the transition from working mom to SAHM (stay-at-home mom) in March and I'm not gonna lie, it hasn't always been easy. Thankfully, Eric was able to find another job quickly and started even before his layoff happened in the summer. Now, he has talked to his bosses at both jobs, and will be able to continue both of them (only one part time so that he's not gone ALL the time). 

Another thing that has been in the back of my head is our situation with his son Meyson. According to the custody agreement with Eric's ex, they are to co-parent and each have Meyson equal amounts of time. In reality, for the past three years, we have had him most of the time, which is not a problem. The problem is that his schedule keeps getting more relaxed and there's never set time or day for pick-up or drop-off. I told Eric that I will not bring a new life into a situation with such lack of structure. It already takes a toll on the two kids that are already here and that I will not willingly subject another child to it. Kids need at least some type of schedule so that they know what's going on from day to day. Eric agrees with me and is talking with Meyson's BM (biomom) to get a schedule set that is going to be appropriate and work for both of them.

Something else that wasn't really a deciding factor, but helped a lot to make my decision easier, is Olivia's potty training. When Olivia was born, Meyson was still in diapers/pull ups and it made it a lot harder and more expensive. Luckily, a couple months later, he was potty trained in like a day, but this time I wanted to make sure that Olivia was at least on the right track with her potty training before the baby would be born. Plus, I remember that changing some of Meyson's poopy diapers was hell on my weak stomach during my first trimester!

Finally, the last and probably most important factor in my decision was being healthy both physically and mentally. We experienced a loss in April and I was devastated. It was an unplanned pregnancy and I was only 6 weeks, but still I already loved my baby just as much as I love the kids I have here on earth.  It took time and even counseling to help me deal with my loss and I am finally at a place that I feel ready to try for my rainbow baby. And just as I am excited to start trying, I'm also scared that history will repeat itself, which is why I'm doing everything in my power to create a healthy pregnancy. I'm completely changing my diet. I've already cut out caffeine, with the exception of the small amounts in decaf coffee and tea and in chocolate, all in moderation. I'm also working to maintain a healthier weight, switching to whole grains, drinking lots more water, putting more fruits and veggies in my diet and just in general trying to stick to a healthier diet.

I've been charting and keeping track of my cycles and BT (basal temperature) on My Monthly Cycles and according to my calender, this week is my most fertile week of this month. :) I'm making it my goal to DTD (do the deed) at least once a day every day this week (maybe 2 or 3 if I'm feeling extra frisky lol).